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I came home the other day and caught the wife in bed with the milkman
Boy, was I angry
It's the grocer that we owe money to
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I had a pain in my arm so I went to the Doctors
He leaned over to examine my arm and it said "Doctor, lend us £20"
"I know what's wrong" said the Doctor
"Your arms broke"
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My next door neighbour, Charlie, said to me that he was taking up Campanology as a hobby
I said had he thought of his Wife's reactions when she sees him wearing one of her dresses
(You might have to think about this one)
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I got fed up with just being a plain Mr so I decided that I would make myself a Lord
I told Charlie that I had just made myself a Peer
"Oh great" he said. "Shall I go the end of it and open the amusement arcade?"
"Not that sort of pier, a P-E-E-R" I said
But he did not hear me as he had fallen in the water
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Charlie's wife is called Lorraine, but he had a girlfriend named Kylie
He thought that his wife, Lorraine, did not know about Kylie
He came round to my house the other day, and said that his wife had left him as she had found
out about the girlfriend
"Never mind" I said, "You can now sing 'I can see kylie now Lorraine has gone"
For those of you who do not understand click here
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